An hour and a half longer than scheduled, and no one moved a muscle, save for the ladies with restless babies. The morning had been set aside by ladies committed to becoming aware of the damaging effects of pornography within our homes. The message was devastation, prevention, and restoration. Spellbound by the voluminous information each speaker brought at My HIM Day, women rose to meet the challenge of purging their homes of any hint of sexually immoral materials. Leaving with a better understanding of the devastation and destruction brought about by even so much as a glimpse of pornography, the battle became a personal one. 

Women pledged to do everything we could to keep our homes dedicated to Jesus, starting with keeping our personal faith in tune with the Spirit. Each of us listened intently to the rising statistics of this addictive process and the attack by ROCK (Reclaiming Our Culture Kentuckiana). The stories shared by former FBI Agent/Federal Prosecutor Mark Wohlander were heart wrenching and left us numb at the thought of the countless children harmed by the horrific crimes brought about by pornography addicts. Hearing the story of Sue Buchanan was sobering as we sensed her pain, anger, bitterness and disturbance having been victimized after a lengthy marriage by the effects of pornography. 

 Sharing a few of the attacks of Satan to thwart the Day’s events, I offered helpful tips to accompany the packet of information passed to each at registration. I challenged each to a pure home, protecting and safeguarding those we hold most precious. And to ensure that all did not end in despondency, I introduced Mark and Holly Detrick who struck the chord of hope and restoration. They infused a tremendous power as they shared their story of transferring the burden of the addiction from one to the other. The struggles they continue to encounter as they keep the covenant vows did not overshadow their note of encouragement and promise.

The degree of devastation of a pornography addiction is different for everyone. It’s not a cut-from-the-same-mold syndrome by any stretch. One thing for certain, however, it ALTERS everyone’s world in some manner. It leaves a path of destruction in the areas of trust, commitment, honor, forgiveness, and love. It strips a person of dignity, integrity, duty, pride, and respect. It robs you of peace and purity, and compromises your sexual liaison with your spouse. It can even lead a person to the most heinous of crimes.

The Day’s events have been rewarding and beneficial already. Even though our town suffered from the upshot of Hurricane Ike and lost power within hours after My HIM Day was concluded, people lost no time in reaching out for help. It was a good day for our Lord. The War Against Pornography rages within the hearts of those attending My HIM Day as they declared He (Jesus) Is Mine, My Husband Is Mine, and My Home Is Mine!

I was away from my home church today promoting My HIM Day at the Assembly of God Church in New Albany, Indiana. The minister, Pastor Steve Burks, had a moving message about God’s power and how we choose to access it and use it, or simply leave the switch turned off. He reminded us of how people fail to tap into the awesome power that awaits their behest.  He spoke of the “sleeping giant” the church as a whole has become, and he’s right on.

On the heels of My HIM Day, the anti-pornography rally that will be launched this weekend, I find it amazing at the lack of response to God’s call for us to pick up arms and fight with the power at our disposal.  I sent out 657 first-class-postage paid, beautiful red, classy brochures certain to snare the attention of dozing Christians.  Followed this with phone calls – not once, but several times to church leaders – pastors and/or ladies’ directors. Only one church responded to the call. Pastor Burks’ response to me, “How can we help this cause? Tell me what we can do.”  He mirrored the heart of my husband, and so he was an instant friend. You gotta love a man of God like that - one willing to pick up the sword and start swinging!  

He invited me to his church to address his congregation, challenge the women to join ranks with others who have signed on to God’s Army against pornography. September 13 will mark a day of reckoning from a slightly different angle in this battle against porn. Women who see porn as a threat of the moral decay within our homes and society will unite to educate themselves about a power that people find themselves “switching on” more and more. And the beauty is it doesn’t matter to these women whether they have anyone at home “involved” in porn or not!

Praise God for the churches that rose to the challenge to offer their women an opportunity to reclaim their homes, protect their children from the dangers within and without, and send their husbands a message that they will fight for sexual rightness.  My HIM Day will be a day honoring Jesus - He [Jesus] Is Mine, My Husband Is Mine, My Home Is Mine. We won’t kill the beast (that assignment belongs to the Lord!), but we will certainly diminish its power! Wake up “Sleeping Giants” and join the cause.

And the generations come, and the generations go.  Another turn-about of young girls was at our home church today to enjoy the Day of Beauty begun a few years ago.  The girls are preparing for the excitement associated with high school - the activities AND responsibility that go along with it.  It’s a hub of enthusiasm as they parade in the door with no makeup, day-old hair, and front-buttoned blouses. Their day will consist of a makeover. They will be transformed by day’s end, and feel like Cinderella going to the Ball. From 9:00 until 7:00 they will experience many facets of being a woman: manicures; pedicures; health screenings; skin care, makeup and its proper application; the importance of fitness; updos; fashion – what to wear to fit your shape, and what NOT to wear regardless of your shape; etiquette – proper manners at the table, the importance of thank-yous, and other forms of social graces; selecting formal attire for the evening gown banquet at the close of the day so they can put into practice the social etiquette they’ve learned, and to parade their physical beauty. They’ll walk out the door with professional photographs (one for them; one for Mom!) printed and framed by the time dinner is over and they bid adieu.

The physical beauty, nor even the social graces for that matter, is not the important part of their day … nor the lasting. Their inner beauty is the focus and ultimate goal. The day begins with a devotional, followed by a gripping talk about transforming vs. conforming.  It is followed throughout the course of the day by straight talk about purity, and the consequences for the lack thereof . The restoration message of Jesus for mistakes already made and the assurance that He will guide your steps away from making decisions based on peer pressure is the enduring significance of what we strive to stamp on our young girls’ hearts. That promise of redemption, the promise of peace and joy that comes in saying no to damaging, left-altering judgment-calls in times of pressure, that is the volunteers’ strongest desire for the day. This is why the myriad workers invest their time, energy, products and monetary donations, and time spent before the Lord bathing this day in prayer. It’s an investment for which many of them may never personally witness a return, but can rest assured some young lady attending today’s event will act upon at a moment of temptation.

What better way to prepare our young people today, and generations to come, than to give them the absolute truth of what Satan offers versus what God provides.  Who better should say it than the Church!  Equipping today guarantees many days of beauty ahead for those who take to heart God’s timeless ancient words about purity.

Mmh.  If you’re asking that question, chances are … he is.  There are definite warning signs that can clue you in, but what you want to be is always aware! I have spoken with many men and women who say their porn addiction was instant; others say theirs was a slow progression. It’s kind of like that first drink: many would have never become alcoholics had they never tasted.

As wives, we need to be alerted to signs and symptoms of porn addiction.  One lady told me her husband asked her to flicker the lights before entering the room so that she wouldn’t frighten him. Red flag! If he gets up after bedtime, get up and check what he’s doing. If your computer is downstairs in the basement, make surprise visits often.  Hit the refresh button on the computer EVERY DAY to see what’s been accessed. While he’s actually on the computer is a great time to do this. Go ahead, just tell him what you’re doing. You don’t have to keep it a secret from him at this point. Let him know you’re keeping tabs on his activity … because you LOVE him, and if there’s a problem, you need to know, you want to know, you have to know.

This is a problem to be shared by husband and wife. Each has their own set of responsibilities: his) self-control, hers) fulfilling his sexual needs.  I realize some men never seem to “get enough.” There may be a deep-seeded problem that needs addressing by a professional.  Many times, however, issues like sexually immoral behavior can be set aside when a couple confronts the issue and it becomes a team effort to overcome it. When a couple’s intimate life has real flavor, true meaning and routine effort, it greatly enhances overcoming issues of sexual immorality, whether pornography, infidelity or other compulsive sexual behaviors. As wives, we must do what we can to ensure our husbands never get caught in the snare of pornography.

The adorably breathtaking parade of flower girls sassed down the aisle in pyramid style.  Through their enthusiastic efforts, the white runner blushed red with anticipation of the special appearance.  The bride’s mother rose and all eyes were directed to the back of the church to catch their first glimpse of the splendor of beauty about to descend.  Everyone turned facing west, save for my eyes, which were fixed on the groom.

It’s standard for me; I always watch the groom. I want to catch his reaction to his first glance of his bride. Some, like my youngest daughter who followed her mother’s example, have pictures taken prior, and so the moment of first glance is shared at a more private setting. But for the more traditional brides, it’s the walk down the aisle. 

I enjoy watching the groom’s reaction, for it is the precision of the moment that tells a thousand tales of his devotion to his bride.  The reactions of grooms are quite varied. Some tear up immediately; others seem unmoved. There are those who actually appear emotionless, and the concern is heavy on my heart. A weak-in-the-knees reaction is by far my favorite, for he is taken aback by the anticipation of his bride on which he is staking claim.

Kyle’s reaction to Danielle was a mixture of emotion. He peered over the standing crowd capturing that first glance. His stature exemplified strength and protection, but his knees befell to rubber-like stability as their eyes connected.  Flushed with awe, his countenance soon gave way to complete surrender to her exquisite grace. He became empowered as she floated down the aisle, closer and closer, as though his beguiling stare was drawing her to his side. There.  She rested now, with only the reigning defender between them who would soon relinquish her to his care and safekeeping.

I believe Jesus watches with as much anticipation, waiting for His bride to come to His side. She is in the hands of defenders who love and protect her, until that special day when He will peer over the crowd and ensnare her at His second coming when He will pull her in to His side. He will take her away and she will rest in the safeguard of His love.

There’s always a story in the eyes of the groom. That’s why he can so easily steal the show where I’m concerned! We know the beauty of the bride is magnificent, but inspecting the love that awaits the union is awesome to witness. 

Eight of the most adorable stepping-stone flower girls you’ll ever lay your eyes on! Their giddiness was matched only by their admiration for the bride and groom. Talk about excitement! It abounds in the Czechin household tonight. I loved the novelty of putting the dinner first, then going to the church for the rehearsal. Pinks and browns, and blacks crowned the tables. Special touches had gone into each embellishment. The gorgeous bride was radiant in her milk chocolate taffeta, the groom so handsome by her side. Rarely do I witness the spirit of devotion this young couple displays.

Family members from Idaho, Maryland, Florida, Iowa, Kentucky, and other parts of Indiana had made their way to witness this special occasion. They brought with them a heritage that represented years of commitment to the institution of marriage. It’s rare these days – commitment to this degree. The groom’s parents had invited all family members to dinner, and welcomed them as part of their extended family. Steeped in love, in tradition, and in preservation of the family unit, Danielle and Kyle will begin their new life with blessings of the rich and precious gift of a pledge of support by the ones who love them most.

Oh, that every new marriage could have the blessing of a solid, wholesome, Christian example from which to draw. This marriage has not been entered into lightly. These two have taken time to come to know the other, to establish boundaries for their relationship, to savor in the richness of both families, to worship together, and to seek the Lord’s guidance for their lives as husband and wife. This rich heritage they are handed down is sure to be poured out into the lives of all they contact, and the children they bring into this world.  This kind of love is the ideal love to begin a marriage. This kind of love is what we all must desire to preserve. Our family’s rich heritage depends on it.

     My weeks have been horrendous of late, but always insightful. After I have spoken at various engagements, and even during booksignings, I have been engaged in hours of advising people on various issues with marriage. Some have wanted to find new life for their marriage. They need that magic potion to give them a surge of energy because they’re simply exhausted at day’s end with no desire for sexual pleasure. The days turn into weeks, the weeks to months. They begin feeling guilty because they’re not satisfying their spouse. Some are tormented because they now suspect their spouse is getting fulfilled through some other means. Pornography, the suspicion of several I spoke with; a physical affair the fear of others.

     There are those who have long since divorced, struggling to find Mr. Right, Miss Perfect, the match made in Heaven. Many have looked and waited for years, and are of the opinion they’re all taken. Their eyes tell much of the story they share. They are lonely. Seasons of bitterness have stolen the sparkle, the brightness and clarity. Conversations of divorce seldom occur without mention of the impious party who deprived them of the joy and fulfillment promised at the altar. While not always the case, it usually demands my probative nature to get down to the initial breakdown of the marriage.  The waxing and waning of intimacy between the couple is most often the culprit.

     The disjunctive existence, the questionable self-worth, the indiscernible value divorce can render to an individual should give pause to the flippancy at which we call it quits. My personal observation, and my very strong opinion, has been that nothing reduces a person to distrust others and doubt oneself than that of feeling like a failure in marriage.  One party almost always walks away still in love with the one who has betrayed their devotion. Unable to leave go of the shackles, they plunder through life in search of that hand-plucked-by-God counterpart to make them complete. Often, they both love the other, but pride, anger and vengeance take reign in their hearts, and they spend the rest of their children’s youth in destroying what’s left of the heritage.

     I wonder how we look to God. Looking down from the King’s seat, I’m sure He abhors the mockery we have made of His perfect plan for the union between man and woman. Aside from the total disregard for the purity and sanctity of the holy institution of marriage itself, it must be more than bewildering to see how callously we wound those we love.

     Commitment to the cause means we keep the family unit together. It offers our children some example of loyalty. It fashions a model of loving parents whose eyes behold a history no man can put asunder. We now have several generations starved for the reestablishment of structure and faithfulness in the home. We could bring it back, but will we?

Nostalgia was sure to be sweet. At least, I anticipated it to be as I stepped onto the portico of the small country church where my Christian roots would take hold. It was odd approaching Pleasant Way Baptist from what used to be the rear of the building. The congregation’s efforts to remodel found them reversing its entryway, resonating a new beginning for this long-established place of worship. Aged familiarity met with gear-grinding download as memory failed to recall some names readily. Others slid off the tongue with ease, as years had been kind to them.

Odd to see the son assuming his father’s role as worship leader. I had wondered if Brother Gene would pass the baton. The choir was in its usual, though reversed, place – seated behind the pulpit area. They began gathering as the pianists played the same rendition of “Shall We Gather at the River.”

My heart lept at the sight of the mural just above the baptistry. It portrayed the Alapaha River where each rescued soul and witnesses would congregate as the redeemed was immersed into the rich salvation of Jesus Christ. A day that would never be erased from my fondest memory banks had found an updated vision of reminiscence.

The choir sang their special as I mouthed along. Each word to every song today was crisp and committed, and I surprised myself, appreciating the years since last recited. Then, the highlight of the homecoming feebly made his way to the podium. Brother Gene, assisted at his elbow by his son, maneuvered his walker. Uncertain what his bent-over body would be able to produce in the way of melody, his voice arrested any doubt that he still possessed the same passion for the Lord I had remembered. Fighting tears was futile as the sweetness of the moment captured the essence of rooted principles of faith upon which I would live and die.

One of my lower-classman friends assumed his role at the pulpit and delivered a challenging message on temptation – a repeat thread in the fabric of my ministry. Amens spiraled about the sanctuary as he divided the Scripture, focusing on Luke’s account of Jesus’ encounter with Satan’s temptations.

The grass is green at the homeplace church. And so it is at the one Webby and I serve today. Rooted by love, grounded in faith, and nourished by the Word has instilled in me this same passion I witnessed today by a soon-to-be-whole-and-restored body of one of God’s faithful servants. No matter where we serve Him, God’s fields are beautiful!

What a beautiful day in Southern Indiana it was today! More like fall than a summer’s day. It was perfect for riding with windows down and taking in fresh air. The construction going on was its only distraction. Returning home and seeing the backed-up cars near the construction route, I was certain I’d take the scenic route. I was the one lone car pulling off at the exit.

Winding around the Ohio River trail on Highway 62, I was awestruck at God’s majesty. To my right, the river glistened from the morning sun, the water still, undisturbed by human invasion. To my left, green, glorious green! Hills and rock and green! Houses interspersed along the drive were quiet, resolved in their stance, overlooking magnificence. It was breathtaking driving through the tree-canopied tunnel donned by scattered sunlight. Trying to capture all the beauty, I veered off the road but quickly regained control, and thanked God for His protection. And to think, I had the choice to take this route.

And so it is with God’s love. He gave us the choice to take the scenic path or the construction route home. We could drive on through the congestion, sucking up the fumes, catching the deflected rocks, traversing the bumps and potholes, dodging the stray barrels, frustrated at the wasted time. Or, we could enjoy the treasures of His perfect plan, His creation, His mapped-out beauty for our pleasure. Not to say there won’t be snags along the way, but His protection is always there.

Free will. God’s way is scenic. Make sure your family sees you make the right choice.

It’s the topic I will be speaking on at Bates Memorial this month. That is precisely what I have been doing this week - getting my house in order. It’s been months since I’ve assimilated my paperwork, and it has really gotten OOC. I’m amazed how fast it accumulates. I had piles of notes, receipts, emails, seminar materials, stories I’ve written, bits and pieces of the sequel to “Pants” - “The Him Book,” as its subtitle suggests. It was time to get a grip! I have guests from Canada coming in for brunch next week, and it seemed befitting that I should de-clutter my house. I have simply prayed I’d get no “unexpected” guests; they would surely get a fright - and certainly the wrong impression of me. It’s busyness that has distracted me from order.

Clutter can quickly begin to pile up in our lives. We look around and there’s inch-thick dust that we’ve failed to focus on; we merely take care of the more “visible.” The closets get a little unorganized and things get out of place. Our drawers get a little tumbled, not their usual neatness. You might be presentable enough for someone to drop in on you, but Heaven forbid if they opened up the doors and plundered through the drawers! You would be ill-prepared for such a visit.

Isn’t that how it is with our relationship with God? Our busyness distracts us from order. If we stop and assess the disheveled rooms in our makeup, we’d soon find dust collected on our prayer time, cramped and tumbled closets in our thinking, and things very much out of place in our hearts. Before we know it, life has more than overwhelmed us, and it’s easier to walk away and close the door, hiding our “junk” from the outside world.

But God knows the state of our homes, and our lives. And He will be an unexpected guest one day. Will your house be in order?